Last post (cue trumpet music)

Greetings once again!

I know have neglected my duties of keeping you up to date, but I have been terribly busy with my research. Its tedious work and frankly, I have had enough of it. Recently, I found out that my professor has just been filtering all my research into his paper he is publishing for some fancy pants science journal without giving me even a footnote! Once finding this out, I drank the rest of the chemicals I was working with, lit his computer on fire and left.

Depressed, downtrodden and desperate, I began to question why I even left in the first place. Its a robot eat robot world out there and I havent even gotten laid yet. I gave up being a rockstar to sling lattes and study science?? As I was taking the bus, I sat beside a very attractive girl who took notice of my pathetic state. We got to chatting but she had to get off the bus quickly afterwards. She gave me her number just in case I needed to chat again. This may be my chance!! I called her up and we went for a walk in the park


I was a beautiful day and I started spilling the beans, telling her how lonely I was and all my foul language and anger stems from my insecurities about not having any legs. I think she was digging all this "I'm so broken" crap. We then sat by the river to take in the view.


I tried to yawn and put my arm around her, but she was too tall for me. After the walk, we went to get a coffee and thats when she broke my heart.




She told me she was flattered but spoken for. She told me I need to look for someone who has more in common with me, maybe a lady robot. I think she might be right. Human ladies are horrible. She also told me its probably better for me to go back to what I do best, rocking out with The Hammocks. Chicks dig rockstars anyways. I am glad we met, because I think she knocked some sense into me. I am going to go back to the Banana Hammocks and see if we can have a fresh start. Its been fun, but I think I finally realized who I am, and its not a Starbucks employee or a Western student. I am a robot. A robot who sings about dirty things.

Thanks for reading!