Ending Credits

Thanks to:

Joelle "The Jokester" Turner



Adam "The Adequate" Shypanski



And Rosalie "The Audacious" Abrahamse

(No photo on file)





Good times had by all!!!

Last post (cue trumpet music)

Greetings once again!

I know have neglected my duties of keeping you up to date, but I have been terribly busy with my research. Its tedious work and frankly, I have had enough of it. Recently, I found out that my professor has just been filtering all my research into his paper he is publishing for some fancy pants science journal without giving me even a footnote! Once finding this out, I drank the rest of the chemicals I was working with, lit his computer on fire and left.

Depressed, downtrodden and desperate, I began to question why I even left in the first place. Its a robot eat robot world out there and I havent even gotten laid yet. I gave up being a rockstar to sling lattes and study science?? As I was taking the bus, I sat beside a very attractive girl who took notice of my pathetic state. We got to chatting but she had to get off the bus quickly afterwards. She gave me her number just in case I needed to chat again. This may be my chance!! I called her up and we went for a walk in the park


I was a beautiful day and I started spilling the beans, telling her how lonely I was and all my foul language and anger stems from my insecurities about not having any legs. I think she was digging all this "I'm so broken" crap. We then sat by the river to take in the view.


I tried to yawn and put my arm around her, but she was too tall for me. After the walk, we went to get a coffee and thats when she broke my heart.




She told me she was flattered but spoken for. She told me I need to look for someone who has more in common with me, maybe a lady robot. I think she might be right. Human ladies are horrible. She also told me its probably better for me to go back to what I do best, rocking out with The Hammocks. Chicks dig rockstars anyways. I am glad we met, because I think she knocked some sense into me. I am going to go back to the Banana Hammocks and see if we can have a fresh start. Its been fun, but I think I finally realized who I am, and its not a Starbucks employee or a Western student. I am a robot. A robot who sings about dirty things.

Thanks for reading!

A new direction

Its been a while, but I am back and ready to go. After my debaucherous evening on Richmond Row I have had sometime to think about where I really want to be in life. After some deep meditation on the issues, I realized that where I want to be is in bed with a beautiful woman. But how?! Alas, my sexy starladies were ready with some more advice. They suggested that I go somewhere to meet girls that doesn't involve alchohol and may allow for more conversation. Apparently you should really get to know a woman before sleeping with her (I have my doubts, but I have nothing to loose that this point). Giving it some thought, I decided I would sign up for a science degree at the university. They were pretty eagar to have a robot in the program (more funding for minority students). Off to school I went!


I worked in the labs for a bit, but the profs really disapproved of my experiemental method of tasting all the chemicals before I used them. On that note, I found that acetylene is the yummiest. My professors suggested that I spent some more time writing up my research so I went to work on my thesis "The effects of acetylene when injested by robots".




But as you can see, this is not really getting me anywhere with the ladies. Although I now think my addiction to alcohol has been replaced of actelyene.....hmmmm....actelyene.